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healing joy deficiency (or why I wore a Halloween costume to Zumba)

11/19/2018

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Picture
On Halloween morning this year, I considered whether or not I should wear a costume to my Zumba class.

At first, it seemed like an inconsequential decision.
Wear one, don't wear one, who really cares, right??!!

But as the day transpired, I realized there were a couple of things that did feel important about my eventual decision to don a little devil outfit and head to class.

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kicking the habit of self-criticism

3/13/2017

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In a previous post, I talked about how fear of others’ judgement can get in the way of enjoying the present moment.

That piece also touched on how judging others can be a protective strategy, an attempt to keep ourselves from looking at things that feel scary or shameful. Judgement can also be a way of trying to make ourselves less vulnerable so that, theoretically, we can't be let down or rejected. 

When we judge others, we create a barrier which makes it difficult to experience the connection we so desperately crave.


Very often we turn that judgement around to ourselves.

At times, self-judgment can be another kind of protective strategy: if I criticize myself before others do, I can’t be hurt.*

*Note: This does not actually work. 
​

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no one is watching you: fear of judgement and our hunger for belonging

2/1/2017

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​Admit something:
Everyone you see, you say to them, “Love me.”

Of course you do not do this out loud, otherwise
Someone would call the cops.

Still, though, think about this, this great pull in us to connect.
​

Why not become the one who lives with a
Full moon in each eye that is always saying,
With that sweet moon language, what every other eye in
This world is dying to hear?
 
-Hafiz

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​After working with people for many years, certain universal truths began to reveal themselves.

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    fara tucker, lcsw

    therapist~consultant~teacher in Portland, Oregon

    compassionate, mindfulness-based services for helpers, healers, and pleasers

    individual counseling 
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