On Halloween morning this year, I considered whether or not I should wear a costume to my Zumba class.
At first, it seemed like an inconsequential decision.
Wear one, don't wear one, who really cares, right??!!
But as the day transpired, I realized there were a couple of things that did feel important about my eventual decision to don a little devil outfit and head to class.
In a previous post, I talked about how fear of others’ judgement can get in the way of enjoying the present moment.
That piece also touched on how judging others can be a protective strategy, an attempt to keep ourselves from looking at things that feel scary or shameful. Judgement can also be a way of trying to make ourselves less vulnerable so that, theoretically, we can't be let down or rejected.
When we judge others, we create a barrier which makes it difficult to experience the connection we so desperately crave.
Very often we turn that judgement around to ourselves.
At times, self-judgment can be another kind of protective strategy: if I criticize myself before others do, I can’t be hurt.*
*Note: This does not actually work.
After working with people for many years, certain universal truths began to reveal themselves.
fara tucker, lcsw
therapist~consultant~teacher in Portland, Oregon